Margo & Ralph

Margo stood on the decking, tapping her bright red shoes towards each other and then away in a repetitive pattern. She stared at her feet as she did this. The decking was in her lovely garden outside her lovely house where she was being lovely. It was a bit overcast though.

She had been tapping her pattern out for a few minutes when her nostrils twitched. A slight smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. A familiar smell climbed into her nasal passages. It was an odd smell to say the least. It was a bit like stilton mixed with orange juice and an undertone of garlic. It wasn’t typically the sort of smell that would make one smile. But it wasn’t a typical smell.

Margo scanned the garden expectantly until she saw one of the bushes wobble. It wobbled some more until a boy fell out.

“Ralph!” she shouted excitedly.

The boy looked at her and jumped up in joy. He ran towards the decking.

It had been so long! Their hearts skipped.

The smell became almost overpowering the closer Ralph got. He was a very smelly boy.

Ralph stopped about a metre away from Margo.

They stood staring at each other for a moment. Their smiles suddenly turned into frowns as the same memory came rushing to the front of their minds from the back of their brain pools.

In their minds they were back, years ago, standing a similar distance apart from each other in a field of long grass. It was a nice day. Ralph was on the verge of telling Margo how much he fancied her. Margo sensed this and was waiting impatiently. Ralph reached to touch Margo’s cheek when everything round them turned to flame.

They looked about themselves in shock. A shadowy figure silently appeared from within the smoke and fire.

Its features became clearer as it came towards them. It was David Bowie, dressed as the Goblin Prince. Despite being pretty amazed that David Bowie was visiting them from within a rather unexpected burning landscape, both Margo and Ralph found it hard to keep their eyes from the impressive bulge in his crotch area.

It distracted them both so much that it took both of them a little while to notice that he was cradling a small monkey in his arms, much like a baby. The monkey bared its teeth and stuck its middle finger up at them. Bowie gently put his hand over the monkey’s to stop him swearing. He kissed the monkey on it’s head before raising one long index finger towards Margo and Ralph. Silently he waved it from side to side as if to warn them. He continued to do this while he raised one eyebrow and slowly glided backwards into the flames.

Everything had returned to normal the instant Bowie was out of sight. Neither had really known what to say after that, so they had gone their separate ways.

And they hadn’t seen each other for years up until this moment in Margo’s garden. And now all they had in their mind was Bowie stroking a monkey and his mighty bulge.

They both sighed at this and turned their separate ways once again.

Margo stood staring at the deck, continuing to sigh as the rather odd smell of Ralph slowly made its way out of her nasal passages and out of the garden.

The sofa bed is almost certainly haunted.

It must be. Look at it.

The IBM man has dyed his hair.

He looked slightly more youthful. Slightly more like he could kill a robot. And quite tired. He looked like he was wanting nothing more than to run up to his wife and put his head in her lap and fall asleep. But he was shaking hands with me and bracing himself for the long drive home.

I was mainly glad it’s nearly Friday. And running home to a bake potato.

I Got the Bus This Morning

My journey to work was soundtracked by a playlist I made from all those sitting down on the left of the homepage of http://www.kelplunacy.com/

I threw in Fresher Than the Sweetness in Water by Honeybus and While You Wait for the Others by Grizzly Bear for good measure. So much good stuff in there. And the fact that, minus the latter two additions, Karl Blau has offered them to you for nowt, makes me feel a fuzzy feeling in my belly. And Slow Down, Joe is not going to leave my head in a long time.

In other news, I have become fascinated by my slightly rotund neighours. They share a ground floor flat and don't seem to have realized that if you leave your curtains open at night & keep the lights on, it's pretty much impossible to resist staring as you walk past. It's become like a five second soap as I walk up the drive in the evenings. Admittedly a pretty boring one where some one is either sprawled on the sofa with their laptop or sitting at the table with their laptop. Some days though, it gets pretty exciting. Some days you get one person doing something in the adjacent kitchen & one person in the living room... it's a sensory overload. The most pleasing fact though, is that they use an empty Roses box as a vase. This pleases me greatly.

This isn't a new video, but I've only found it recently. It makes me all kinds of happy. A creepy, slightly odd vid, tempered by the rock person thing looking like a creature from the Mighty Boosh...

The Snow Went, So I Did Too

The snow went, so I did too. I ventured south for the weekend. I stayed with my brother. He’s making hang gliders. If you’re a musician he’ll make you one for free.

I had a marvellous time. But my brain was seeping out all over my desk at work today, as it will if you take a couple of days off & remember that your job has little relevance to you, other than it provides the money for your food & shelter. Just about. It’s a damn nuisance trying to get your brain back in after it has started seeping out.

I was at a loose end yesterday morning before getting my train in the afternoon, so I took the opportunity to wander aimlessly around Tate Britain. I like Tate Modern, it’s interesting. But it’s not got the same atmosphere as Tate Britain. It’s so chilled out and has a good mix of old and new. It’s not jumping on your head and screaming for attention like a child who’s drunk too much coke, in the way that the Tate Modern does. I even like the walk from Pimlico. That area seems like a protective bubble for me to run around in.

I wandered down some old paths too, almost stumbling into nostalgia. But I think I avoided it. There were some small quiet moments.